I recently noticed a great infographic floating around the inter-webs regarding the Imposter Syndrome:
It struck me that:
- Everyone I’ve had a meaningful conversation with on this topic has admitted to suffering from this affliction
- No one thinks anyone else suffers from this affliction
And I do mean it -- I have spoken with dozens of people about this topic, from all walks of life. The very best network architects I know may even suffer from Imposter Syndrome to a greater degree than less experienced members of the industry. Perhaps this is a factor in their success; they never feel like they belong (technically), so they continue to study technology and achieve certifications in a quixotic attempt to finally feel like they have accomplished ‘enough’ to fit in.
And perhaps no one experiences this as much as I do. [See what I did there… I fell into the very trap that everyone else falls into, thinking that I have it worse than the rest with regards to this affliction]. The logical, calculating portion of my brain knows this is a farce. I have lots of great experience, many successful CCDE students and multiple high-level certifications that should provide proof of my abilities. In fact, they do, to everyone but myself.
So what does this have to do with my First CCDE Training Class (the title of this blog post)? I’m sure you can guess.
About a year after I earned my CCDE certification, I found myself in a classroom, tasked with teaching a group of network engineers how to prepare for the CCDE Practical exam. Well, they weren’t just a ‘group of network engineers;’ they were a self-selected class of fifteen Cisco SEs and NCEs. We began the class in traditional fashion, where I introduced myself and then gave each participant a few moments to do the same. As I recall, every member of the class had at least one CCIE certification, and in total there were over 40 earned CCIEs in the room. Only one of those was mine... Talk about the Imposter Syndrome! As one candidate briefly summed up his background (two Cisco Press books published, developer of the CCIE DC exam, etc, etc) the thought occurred to me — "I got lucky, passed a tough exam, agreed to teach a class I had no business leading, and now I’m going to melt into the floor at a Cisco office in Chicago once this class realizes I’m a fraud."
Fortunately, this class was full of extremely kind and patient students. The materials
provided by the training vendor were not sufficient to help prepare the class, so I spent several late nights during the week preparing additional case studies. At the end of the week one of the students kindly photocopied my handwritten composition notebook to share with the class. A handful of class members had already attempted the exam and they had specific strategies that they wanted me to help them work through. One wanted to go through a merger scenario, so we worked up something on the whiteboard. As we proceeded through the various topics and designs that could be on the exam, we occasionally reached a topic that I had difficulty teaching. Each time one or another member of the class stepped in to guide the discussion.
At the end of the week, I thanked the class for allowing me the opportunity to assist them with their pursuit of the CCDE certification. I remarked that they had been an incredibly patient group and they had made me, a first-time instructor, very comfortable. Immediately several students expressed surprise that I wasn’t a seasoned teacher. Each of them remarked about how at ease I appeared during the class and how well I handled such a difficult group. My internal read on the situation was exactly the opposite of theirs. Several months after the class concluded, I began to receive emails from students thanking me for the assistance I provided, and letting me know about their success on the CCDE Practical exam. By my count, five of the seven students who ultimately attempted the CCDE Practical passed after our class.
You would think this experience had put my mind at ease, and teaching future classes would be much easier. Well, I’ve taught well over a dozen week-long CCDE bootcamps, and many more online classes, and I still get nervous before I introduce myself at the beginning of each session. The Imposter Syndrome is a part of my professional life, and I’ve come to accept it. In fact, I count on it to ‘keep me hungry,’ so I continue to study the various technologies involved in network design just as I did in 1997, when I truly did not know anything about networking.
I do in some ways fear that as the Imposter Syndrome is more openly discussed, it will become less prevalent. This could have the unfortunate effect of causing overconfidence, where everyone who knows about this syndrome thinks they suffer from it, even when they are, in fact, under-informed about their chosen craft. I somehow doubt this will be an issue except for the small minority who never actually had the condition to begin with.
Here are a few more references to Imposter Syndrome from @aliciatweet. She appears to be the source of the image at the top of this post, or at least the original infographic that this was based on:
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome - https://medium.com/@aliciatweet/overcoming-impostor-syndrome-bdae04e46ec5
You Don’t Have Imposter Syndrome - https://medium.com/@aliciatweet/you-don-t-have-impostor-syndrome-126e4c4bdcc
Jeremy Filliben is a network architect and CCDE instructor. He has assisted over 80 students in their successful pursuit of the Cisco Certified Design Expert designation. His next CCDE Practical Bootcamp class is scheduled for July 25th. More details can be found on his website at www.jeremyfilliben.com.